"Sexual Dysfunction in men including ED and PE, prostate issues, and porn addiction"
by Melissa St. Mari
I’ve seen first hand the negative effects of ejaculating too frequently. As a Tantra Teacher men of all ages often came to see me due to sexual dysfunction of various kinds. Sometimes this can be caused by health problems or medications or emotional and psychological issues like shyness. However, masturbating frequently to porn and or ejaculating too frequently was almost always a main factor in the sexual dysfunctions i saw as a tantrica. Ejaculation and porn can both be very addictive and in our fast paced world many men use these things for stress relief on a daily basis, sometimes many times a day. While i do recommend self pleasuring regularly even daily i believe breaking the addiction to porn and ejaculating frequently can be an important part of experiencing more pleasure and vitality in the long-run.
Frequently as men get older and have a habit or ejaculating frequently they end up with prostate problems. Worse case scenario this leads to surgery and removal of their prostate which makes them unable to ejaculate. Anecdotally, i have been told by T.J. Bartell, one of the main teachers for The Source School of Tantra that through learning and practicing tantric sexual practices many men have been able to turn around a diagnosis of prostate cancer. Taoist practices use sexual life force energy to build health, vitality, and longevity rather than depleting the body.
It has been sad to see an epidemic of so many young men in their 30s and 40s having sexual dysfunctions such as inability to get and keep an erection and inability to orgasm or ejaculate with a woman due primarily to overuse of pornography and masturbation. Neurochemically porn is dangerously addictive due to the high levels of dopamine released for a man looking at many new women and it does not have the benefits of Oxytocin which is released in an embodied interaction with a real live woman. A man who watches porn frequently habitualized his system to needing high levels of dopamine and frequent new visual stimulation via many different women in order to function sexually. Additionally, a man who masturbates and ejaculates frequently is training his body to respond and orgasm and ejaculate only with a very specific type of manual stimulation which is hard to reproduce with an actual encounter with a woman. Therefor he can have difficulty achieving and maintaining his erection and orgasming and ejaculating in an encounter with a woman if he has habituated his body to a disembodied solo sexual experience.
Treating Sexual Dysfunction in Men
For most of these men i recommend abstaining from porn and not ejaculating if possible using tantric or taoist sexual practices for circulating the sexual energy through the body when self pleasuring. Instead of porn i recommend that they use their imagination or think of a past embodied experience. I suggest they try to be sensual with themselves and in their life. Enjoy the sensuality of a walk in nature, eating a good meal, taking a long shower and make self pleasuring a sensual meditation. Touch themselves everywhere and breath and relax and go slow. Savor the journey. Stop before getting to the point of no return and breath the energy through the body using the Taoist Big Draw Practice if possible.
For many men the antidote to sexual dysfunction such as difficulty getting and keeping an erection is to have regular sex with a real live woman with whom they have a positive emotional connection. Tantric practices can also treat this type of sexual dysfunction. The antidote for premature ejaculation are tantric practices which include slowing down and learning how to work with one’s sexual energy. Both men and women can learn how to treat premature ejaculation in men by learning how to consciously work with sexual energy and practicing tantric and taoist sexual practices for full body ecstasy and multiple orgasm.
"Natural Supplements for increased Male Virility and Stamina"
by Melissa St. Mari
Due to our modern lifestyle of constant stress, poor diet, and too much porn a high percentage of men have erectile issues at least some of the time often starting in their 40s but sometimes even younger.
Tantra and Taoist sexual practices are great for treating all sorts of sexual dysfunction mainly through simple practices such as slowing down, relaxation, non-judgmentally accepting whatever is happening, and sensate focus. Sensate Focus is a meditation technique for focusing on the senses and sensations. This is what we practice in Tantra and it is the number one technique used for treating sexual dysfunctions of all kinds used by Clinical Sexologists and Therapists. I know because i have a background in Clinical Sexology, Therapy, and Tantra.
Furthermore, a tenet of Tantric theory and practice is to let go of specific goals related to a sexual experience such as trying to make yourself or your partner orgasm or needing to have a particular sexual act happen. Since sex and women and the body in general is so changeable like the weather it is best to avoid frustration and practice accepting, enjoying, and appreciating whatever happens. We can hold a relaxed and flexible intention without making it into a pressured struggle and stressful goal. In fact, we are more likely to experience ecstasy and non-ejaculatory and multi-orgasmic states when we are relaxed and unpressured.
The irony in Tantra and life is that the more you can let go of your short term goals such as for the immediate gratification of ejaculation the more you can reach your long range intentions such as for Ejaculatory Mastery and expanded orgasmic states. It’s a spiritual and physical practice.
Despite the well known fact that tantra treats sexual issues of all kinds any responsible tantric practitioner will ask a few questions first before attempting to treat a sexual issue with sensate focus such as have you had a medical evaluation and are you on any pharmaceuticals. If there is a medical issue that needs to be addressed first. Also, SRIs such as Prozac are well known to lower sex drive and even interfere with sexual functioning.
Of course, most anyone can get a prescription nowadays for Viagra which can be a God send. However, besides having side effects it doesn’t treat the underlying issues like L-Arginine or Icariin can.
I have a good male friend who also acts as my personal natural pharmacist. He was a raw vegan for 10 years and is practically a walking encyclopedia of natural supplements and chemistry and such. He runs several businesses as a computer programmer in the Forex market and has a degree in Mathematics from Caltech. He specializes in supplements and natural remedies for male virility and stamina and so I asked him what he would recommend. This is his recommendation and he has tried them all himself and they have worked for him.
Take this every day for general nutritional support and enhancement of male sexuality:
Take this as desired every day but take twice as much on day of potential sexual activity:
(For enhancement of nitric oxide and growth hormone release- good for you)
Take before workouts for improved energy and on day of potential sexual activity:
(Powerful, contains yohimbe!)
Take these carefully, and if sensitive to yohimbe then take only on the day of potential sexual activity:
Yohimbe can make you feel a little wired, like a strong cup of coffee, and give you hard-on that can last for hours. Some men like how it feels and others don’t. Probably best not to take if you have heart problems.
None of these supplements should be contraindicated with Viagra or alcohol. However, why take them with anything else? Especially the first time you take something you want to be clear on how it affected you and what did what.
If you want to read more about Erectile Dysfunction and what causes it from a physical perspective you can read the below article which although being a bit markety actually has some interesting information such as:
“A remarkable 52% of men between the ages of 40 and 70 suffer some degree of erectile dysfunction. The likelihood of erectile dysfunction increases with age, and older men are more likely to suffer from more serious erectile dysfunction.
Numerous conditions aside from endothelial dysfunction can also contribute to erectile dysfunction. Such conditions include: diabetes, prostate disease, prescription drug use, smoking, and psychological and physical stress.”
"Practicing Sex Magic Together"
by Melissa St. Mari
Sex Magic is the idea of building sexual or life force energy and then fuelling your intentions, goals, and dreams with it to create whatever you want that is in the best interest of all. Because of the chemistry and energy between us we will be generating a lot of life force energy during our time together. It's a good idea beforehand to think about what your intentions are for our time together and what you would like to create or experience in your life and for the world. You can share this with me and our combined focus and intention can help make your dreams a reality faster than you could have imagined.
That's alchemical and sexual magic, the power of more than one person intending something together and fuelling it with their passionate life force energy. When men and women come together in a loving way we have exponentially more power to create what we want in our lives. The powerful energy of procreation can be channeled into the energy of creating in the world.
You may want to be more charismatic, more attractive to the opposite sex, more successful in business or socially, more spiritually evolved or help create peace on earth among other things. With my skills in Tantric and Taoist practices, Psychology and Coaching i can use multiple modalities to help you make your dreams a reality in practical as well as magical ways. You can use practices like writing your intentions or goals, visualizing them, and of course taking practical steps to make them happen. The clearer you can imagine what you would like to see happen the easier it will be to make it happen.
So give some thought to what your next evolution looks like, what you would most love to have or experience, and what you most want to see in the world and share it with me during our time together.
Congratulations, you are on your way to becoming a master lover and sexual healer! If you have questions, feel free to email me.
In Love and Service,
Melissa St. Mari